Hormat

Tok Haji Napiah dari Kampung Kodiang Lama adalah orang yang paling saya sayang. Hidupnya simple, amalnya kira tak terbuat oleh kita, kononnya ilmunya agak menakjubkan The last years of his life, he probably spent most with me (part of it). Exchanging idea on philosophy and religion. There were days when I wonder why he said I was his last student (he called me Tok Guru) and we grew so fond of each other. Later I found out why. A day before he fell (into comma) and never awakened, I had the sudden urge to rush home. I was in KL that time and suddenly, I wanted to go back to just see him. Reaching my house in Jitra, I found that my motorcycle wasn't working. But I really wanted to go to Kodiang (which was 20km away). There's no way I can go and see him. Nobody was around. But... talk about holy and last day of our lives.. my friend suddenly appeared with his bike from KL saying something weird like, I was riding pass this area and I suddenly thought that you might want to 'tumpang' me to Kodiang. What do you know..

I tumpang him to Kodiang and he left me there. I insisted that I can find my way back home though I didn't really know how. Tok Napiah's house was really really way-way no near the main road (where I can easily get a taxi or bus home). I met him. The old man. His face as 'bersih' as always. Just returning from slaughtering a cow (it was a few days after Hari Raya Haji and still in the korban period). He was so happy to see. Invited me in but I declined. I told him that I only wanted to see his face. I have seen and i want to go back. He was angry I guess. He insisted that I spend some time with him. Pleading. But I totally refused. Kasihan pula. This words he said I remember well..

Dad, Dad ni bukannya betul sangat.. apa yang dad buat bukannya betul semua! I wonder why this suka jaga hati orang old man said that to me. Of course I know I tak betul sangat. Sebab tu dok mencari ilmu agama sana sini. Dia kata, dia pun bukan betul sangat. He told me, kecewanya dia lately.. kerana apa yang dia doa, satu pun tak dapat jawapan. Ramai orang datang minta tolong, tengok itu ini, harap itu ini tapi tak dak satu pun yang dia doa minta tengok, dapat... He was frustrated. Kecewakan orang!

He was frustrated juga with people yang letak so much 'kepercayaan' pada dia. Dia cuma doa saja, kadang nampak kadang tidak nampak. Tapi manusia terlalu meminta. Dia tanya balik, sama ada tuhan telah tinggalkan dia. Which was weird. I know how much he loves God! How he fears Him!

He was waiting for me to say something... and tah lah. I think I reply out of the need to reply. I kata tak pa lah tak dapat jawapan pun. Jangan hilang keyakinan kat tuhan just because tak dapat satu dua jawapan sedangkan dia banyak beroleh jawapan sebelum tu. Dia ajak sembahyang dan tidur rumah dia kerana well, seriously, I never asked him for anything. People from all over normally see him nak minta ubat itu ini, nak minta ilmu itu ini. I never did ask for anything other than exchanging amalan ibadat dan sembang hal ketuhanan, makhluk dan philosophy. Dia kata seronok just to tengok I sembahyang kerana I never ask for anything. Buat dia lagi semangat nak sembahyang. Anak murid lain biasanya mengharap dia jemput tidur rumah dia, I always declined. Dia pula yang terpaksa ke my house untuk sembang dan sembahyang sama.

But, kalau dah buat decision, and sekali kata, the type of person I am... I left him. The next afternoon, he fell, kena stroke and two weeks after dia meninggal. I probably student terakhir yang jumpa dia.

Ribu orang yang hadir waktu dia meninggal. Malangnya waktu mandikan dia, daripada beratus anak murid dia, cuma I seorang saja yang mandikan dia. (with ahli masjid kampung). Weird. I noticed semua orang di luar dok sembang, dok rasa frust, Tok Napiah dah tak ada. While I yang tak pandai langsung pasal mandi jenazah ni masuk ke dalam dan mandikan dia. (Of courselah orang masjid bantu a lot). I guess he knew that I will be the one dalam semua anak murid dia yang sayang dia sampai mandikan dia. His other anak murid yang sayangkan dia, Azizi (a brother  to me) sampai lewat dari KL. Or else it would be me and him.

OK.. coming to the point of writing. Hormat!